1. At home, always store your instrument in the most inconspicuous
place possible, so as not to be constantly reminded of the fact that you
have to practice. 2. Always be late for rehearsals, so that your presence
be especially noticed. 3. It is not important how you attach mouthpieces, mutes,
etc. to your instrument as long as they can fall out easily. 4. To be able to check your tone well, always continue playing
briefly after the conductor has stopped. 5. Staying away from rehearsals is an excellent way to give
proof of your importance. 6. Be kind your fellow musicians by playing so loudly, that
another person's mistakes attract less attention. 7. In order to obtain extra certainty, it is best to ask
questions about issues that have been discussed at previous rehearsals. 8. In order to be sure that all water is thoroughly removed
from all values and slides, you should blow it out in a way it can be
well heard. It is best todo this during delicate, quiet passages, or when
the conductor is speaking. 9. March books, hymn books and mutes can be lost easily.
It is therefore advisable to leave them at home. 10. Wear shoes with hard soles to rehearsals in order to
be able to tap audibly on the floor and thus play in time. 11. To remind the conductor of the current time, look at
your watch often and conspicuously. Shake the watch, if you are not certain
if it tells the correct time. 12. In order to be sure that your instrument is put away
correctly in its case it is best to start packing well before the end
of the rehearsal. 13. It is not really necessary to celebrate family events
or birthdays on the day itself. You may very well move these to the evening
of rehearsal. 14. Consistently refuse to play anything other that 1st
parts. Never admit that the 2nd and 3rd parts are sometimes more difficult. 15. Always shake your head when other musicians make mistakes. 16. Scores can be best put away in your instrument case
in a rolled up or folder manner. 17. To avoid wear and tear to the inside of your instrument
never clean it. 18. Make sure that the main tuning slide is thoroughly stuck,
so that other players always have to tune up to you. 19. When checking for intonation, stare blankly at the tuning
slide, move it in or out, then put it back where it originally was. This
will ensure perfect harmony with your colleagues.
